What does “Freedom” mean to you? What does “Freedom” look like to you?
For me, freedom is having the ability to speak authentically and living in a space where there is no judgement, guilt or shame. Having the ability to feel secure where I am personally and professionally, feeling confident in making decisions that help me live more independent.
February 2010, I went to a Psychic Fair and met this amazing woman, she was a Feng Shui Consultant. I sat down and she asked me “What am I interested in changing in my life?”
Me: “ I am a 40 year young woman, single mom still living in my parents house”
Consultant: Have you ever lived on your own?
Consultant: Please draw a floor plan of what your bedroom looks like
Me: I began to laugh and drew my floor plan
Consultant: she looked at my floor plan and said, I understand “why” you’re still living at home at 40. She explained to me some of the things that were creating blockages that were preventing me from moving forward. To start off with, my bed was not in command position. Command position means, I can see who is coming into my room without having to turn my head or get out of bed. The second thing was my door opened in onto the bed
Consultant: she asked, if I could move the bed to the other side of the room. This would allow me to see who entered the room – this would shift the energy in the room and my energy
Me: the furniture in this room has never been moved other than for cleaning. For that matter, the furniture has been in this set up since my older sister was a baby. I will see what I can do. This was not about just moving one bed, all the furniture had to be moved. I also informed the consultant that I shared the room with my daughter.
Consultant: Should not be able to physically move things around, I can give you a cure.
Me: What’s the cure?
Consultant: Stand in your room and visualize the transition and then write about how it feels to you.
Me: I much rather physically move everything.
After my session with the consultant, I went home and sat in my room and visualized all the furniture rearranged, than I went and shared my idea with my parents.
Mom: The furniture will not fit any other way.
Dad: Why do you want to move the furniture around?
Me: I am 40 years young, single mom still living in my parent’s house. I think it’s time to grow up, be adult and raise my daughter on my own. My dad had a lot of resistance with me wanting to move out, my mom was stuck on her belief that the furniture would not fit any other way. I asked my mom, can I move the furniture around and see for myself if it fits or not. I will put everything back should the furniture not fit.
Mom: You can, but the furniture is heavy
Me: It’s okay, I am willing to try
Dad: I will help you.
Dad and I went upstairs and started working on the bedroom, 8 hours later, all the furniture was rearranged. I called my mom up to come see the room
Mom: I told you the furniture does not fit this way
Me: What do you mean? Everything fits perfectly
Mom: The high dresser is too close to your bed
Me: That’s fine, I can open all the draws without a problem
We all agreed the room will stay the “new” way
Within one week my sister called me and asked me, are you still looking for an apartment
Me: Yes, why
Sister: My tenant is moving out by the end of the month, it’s yours if you want it
Me: Great, I will come see the apartment during the week.
A week later, I went to see the apartment, I fell in love with the apartment. A few days later, I brought my daughter to see the apartment. It had one bedroom and a nice size living room, I asked my daughter if she would like to have the bedroom, she said yes. She was excited to have her own room. She and I went house shopping for furniture and bedding. I was so happy that she was excited about moving.
A week later, I started packing things up to move to our new apartment. I asked my daughter to help me put her stuff in boxes and my dad told me, she did not want to go with me. I asked her, if she wanted to move with mommy, she looked at me and said I want to stay here. I asked her, do you not want to go with me tonight or not at all. She said, I want to stay here. I let it be for the night, hoping she would come with me another night.
A month later, I asked my daughter if she would like to sleep over, she said yes, I packed a bag and we went home. By time we got ready for bed, my daughter started crying for my father, so I called my dad and she spoke on the phone with him. I thought that calmed her down but she asked if she could go back to my parent’s house, so my dad came to get her.
Every now and then, I invited my daughter to come stay with me but did not happen. I finally said to her, whenever she is ready to move in, she is welcomed. The bedroom remains unused for one year.
I love being in my own apartment and having my “freedom”, I am grateful to the Feng Shui Consultant that help me shift my energy and move into my freedom. What will you leave behind for your FREEDOM?